Frequently Asked Questions

I was getting a lot of questions on my Tumblr account ( the-guy-who-laughs, if you are interested) so I wrote up a FAQ for it. Then it occurred to me that I should probably put one over here. This one has been adapted for the journal (rather than the Tumblr) although the subjects are more or less the same. Many of these questions have been posed to me over the course of my (limited) time on the internet.


Q: Your name is listed as Colin Gwynplaine. Is that your real name?
A: Colin is my legal first name. I have been using Gwynplaine as my middle name for many years. It is also my official moniker at work, on my work ID and everything. I use it in place of a last name online since I cannot think of any reason anyone online might need my surname.

Q: What gender are you and what pronouns do you use?
A: I am male and I use male pronouns, thank you for asking.

Q: How old are you?
A: All my legal documents say I’m 28, so let’s go with that.

Q: You look much younger.
A: I know! Isn’t it great? When I’m forty, people are still going to ask me what grade I’m in. By the way, that wasn’t a question.

Q: What do you do for work?
A: My main job is one I do not talk about much. I love my coworkers and we frequently have a lot of fun, but I really hate what I do and I am, in no small way, embarrassed about it, but I must pay the bills somehow. I also tutor in a variety of subjects. And I have my MBA, so I have recently taken on work as a freelance bookkeeper while I look for a job in my field. Right now, I'm also a dance instructor at a local studio.

Q: I have seen the selfies you post. Are they of you?
A: Yes, they are.

Q: Why do you post so many pictures of yourself?
A: Because I’m a total narcissist, and because I’m knock-out drop-dead sexy of course.

Q: No, really, why did you post them?
A: Oh, very well. The truth then. I find it very difficult to look at myself. I dislike being looked at too, which, as you can guess, makes things like, oh… existing for example, unnecessarily stressful. I put on a good show of confidence most of the time, but my core is nothing but anxieties, insecurities, and extreme self-consciousness. The entire point of coming online was to force myself to be more open, to have to look at myself, to learn not to be terrified of a camera, and to get comfortable with the idea of people looking at me…without actively having to be looked at, an idea which is surprisingly liberating. I did the exercise most begrudgingly at first, but between getting into the habit of doing it and the overwhelming support and encouragement of the sweet people I have met online, it has helped significantly.

Q: Are those scars?
A: Yes, they are.

Q: What interests do you have and what fandoms do you belong to?
A: Many. Most notable is L’homme qui rit/The Man Who Laughs (in any incarnation) because it is significant to me and needs extra love since it’s a very small fandom. Other specific fandoms of mine include The Little Prince, The Phantom of the Opera, Beauty and the Beast, Howl’s Moving Castle, Pushing Daisies, and Singing in the Rain. More general media interests include Victorian literature and movies based upon it, silent films, film noir, French films, Vincent Price/ Peter Cushing/ Basil Rathbone/ Christopher Lee films, and over-acted anachronistically-costumed quasi-period films (bonus points if it has Ray Harryhausen animation in it). Other than that, I like sunshowers, thunderstorms, foggy days, books, handmade scarves, the feeling of silt between my toes, the smell of coffee, ballroom dancing, financial security, and long walks on the beach.

Q: Is The Man Who Laughs/ L’homme qui rit your favorite story?
A: That’s a hard question to answer. Let’s say that The Man Who Laughs/ L’homme qui rit has roots more firmly embedded in my identity than any other. To quote Wuthering Heights, “my love for [other stories] is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for [L’homme qui rit] resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary.”

Q: Your scarring and love of L’homme qui rit… coincidence much?
A: Less coincidence and more intentional analogy. I have chosen to embrace a story that resonates profoundly and makes me that much stronger. When I became enamored of it at twelve, it was precisely because I could relate. At last, there was a disfigured man not cast as the villain but as a vulnerable and gentle human being whose personal strength overcomes all those terrible insecurities when it matters. That’s powerful. And I like to fancy that, could I meet Gwynplaine, we’d be best buds and have a secret handshake.

Q: You often refer to Dea. Is that her name? Is she your girlfriend?
A: It is her name, only not legally… yet. She’s often discussed getting it changed because no one calls her anything else except maybe her doctors and school administration. Yes, that was my doing. I regret nothing. And no, she is not my girlfriend. She has a boyfriend, but all boyfriends are called Charmin because she goes through them like rolls of toilet paper in a household of ten. I, on the other hand, am consistently unattached.

Q: Will we see pictures of you two together?
A: Probably not although there are a couple I would love to share because they’re silly and we look happy and those are the ones that please me most. But I would never put up pictures of anyone without their consent and I am a coward and haven’t told her about my online escapades because last year when Orson suggested doing this and I considered it, she became very upset by it.

Q: Is it okay to ask you a question even if it may seem indiscreet?
A: If it’s intentionally rude/ anon hate, you can guarantee that I will cut you down and sass you out. If it’s just a matter of not knowing how to phrase your inquiries, go ahead. I don’t believe in judging people who are trying to learn. That being said, I am still a fairly private person and may respectfully decline to answer, at least until I know you better, or request that we take the discussion elsewhere.

Q: Does that still mean I can ask you about your scars?
A: That depends. Are you going to give me the benefit of asking me off-anon or sending me an email so that I can talk to you as one person to another? If so, feel free. Or did you think you would hide behind a generic anonymous icon and ask me things you wouldn't have the nerve to do in person? Because if that's the case, no, you cannot. All anonymous inquiries about my scars will be treated in accordance with my mood that day, which means you will receive: sarcasm, comment deletion, or a link to my latest outburst of frustration. You will not receive an answer or a notification that I have deleted your question.

Q: Cake or Death?
A: Death, please. Oh! No! Cake! Cake! Sorry. I meant cake.


Do you have a question I didn’t answer? Send me an email at colin.gwynplaine@gmail.com.