The 4th

Work was rained out, again, today and rather than keep us for rehearsals or training, they just let us go since the weather is only due to get worse.

I am feeling more than a little melancholy since it seems like I spend every holiday alone. Dad’s off on his Burmese whirlwind adventure. Dea’s at her boyfriend’s family’s shindig. Phoebe is with her sister and nieces at her brother-in-law’s get-together. And here I am, at the apartment, not even the dog here for company.

And I know it is silly to feel this way since the 4th is not a holiday I have ever celebrated with enthusiasm. And eating barbecue, especially in front of strangers who would invariably be at any festivities, would get me so nervous that I really would embarrass myself. And it is not as if I have been purposely excluded from anything. And I have nothing else which would justify the inner restlessness and discontent.

Nonetheless, I am restless and discontent and feeling isolated.

I hope everyone else who celebrates on the 4th is having/ had a wonderful day.